How different is Unique…?

“ When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.”

-          Sophia Lauren.

The above statement by an Italian actress beautifully epitomizes Saudi mothers. Behind the “veil of powerlessness” an average Saudi mother is no different from her European and Western counterparts.

Sadeem*, 36, has been living in Riyadh since her childhood. She has 3 kids, a daughter and 2 sons. “I’m a chemical engineer by education, but did not have chance to work since I got married as soon as I graduated…” any regrets? I asked, “not at all, I was happy because that way I had a lot of time to spend with my husband, and later with my kids…”

She chose not to ‘work’ on a full time job since she does not want to make compromises at family levels, “…my husband works for more than eight hours a day, if I don’t stay at home and take care of kids, who will. I don’t mind taking up a full time job, but I would do so, only when my kids have all gone to Universities…” An average day in Sadeem’s life involves regular home chores like cooking, cleaning, helping kids with homework & assignments. Her favorite activities are surfing internet (emails and news websites to begin with), socializing with friends and family, reading fiction, non-fiction & religious books & shopping, of course; “My favorite outing is nice dinners with my husband, alone…!” and she blushed.

Most interesting thing about one of her past time that caught my attention was watching TV. She claims to be a die- hard fan of programs on MBC 4- Oprah & The Doctor’s TV and other Arabic shows. “…I understand English in bits, but subtitles always help!”

Younger Generation of Saudi women have been quite active in the business and job scenes. Though this freedom was not inherited, they value it and inspire many mothers like Sadeem to encourage her daughter to graduate and work. “ Gamrah*, my oldest child, will soon be in high school, she is very good in her studies and all other activities. I definitely want her to study a lot and continue with a job. I not only want her to grow up age wise but also be well educated and independent women…”

Beyond all these thoughts, ideas and ambitions, there was slight discomfort in voice about the system that she, her daughter and rest of the family is in. “Well I’m not very content with the system. I hope there was some more freedom. But if these are the cultural and traditional values, I will respect it.”

A Saudi woman has benefit of accumulating wisdom for centuries. Most of all, she also has an advantage of making her own choices, in creating and experiencing an entirely new era of Change. She has experienced choice of her own growth and sensed the liberation with in.

“If you swim against the tide, you might either sink or die out of over doing, hence I choose to float in the same direction and be content, be happy …”

- Sadeem Abdulaah.

*Names changed to protect privacy.

Karma Matter

Ever since I quit my full-time job, cooking and watching T.V have been my favorite activities.   As I browsed through channels, E! is one channel where I always look for something fun to watch. Some gossip, some real life drama or some useful tips on what (not) to wear etc… One of the popular shows on that channel is “Running in heels.”

In all honesty, I started watching this show only cause of its title. Running in heels. To me, this clearly meant things people do to survive in corporate world. This reality show was about 3 girls, Talita, Samantha & Ashely in NYC interning for a fashion magazine called Marie Claire. What they captured on show was the reality of what an intern goes through in real world. Alongside, it clearly highlights the attitude of others’ towards interns, tension between interns, cold shoulders and my touch point that gets the TRP scoring- the sabotaging.

I have closely followed all the episodes and it’s been quite entertaining. Today was the final episode of the season. One of the interns would get a chance to continue working with Marie Claire & the lucky name was to be revealed.

Joana, Chief Editor of the magazine, a tough critic observed girls closely and would decide on which one to pick.  It was towards the end of last episode, that she met all the interns and scrutinized each of them based on their performances.  These were her comments on them; Samantha- smart, sweet, approachable and a good writer; Tolita- proactive, deligent, but challenged in grammar & spellings; Ashley- Talented, hard working and good presentation skills.What shocked me the most  was what followed first line of comments.Samantha, had more of PR skills, she was not really meant for a ‘magazine’ world. Ashley, along with her talent and hard work she was also a gifted sabotage. There was not a single time she missed out on elbowing someone else to get where she wanted. Tolita, yes, she did have to polish her skills but has proven herself to be hardworking, dedicated & humane individual.

As a typical TV buff, was was glued to the TV through out the advertisements (which I usually skip) to know who would be the one. Her feedback was very generic and neutral.  Talita was the winner. She was chosen to be Marie Claire’s correspondent in the West Coast.

I was Happy to here that, not because I secretly admired one of them and hence wanted Talita to get this job, but there was more of  personal agenda attached to it.  Somewhere deep down inside, there was something about the climax that I strongly believed in and followed in every given chance. According Joanna, the editor-in-chief and the benevolent dictator of the magazine, had simple yet basic reasons for choosing Talita. Honesty, persistence and hard-work. I’ve personally been part of corporate world and seen people right from lowest to the highest level, nice-est to the mean-est, lethargic ones to the most active ones. Irrespective of the level, something that always mattered and appreciated was the human-ness of every individual. Talita, was not the super talented or gifted-by-birth kinds, she certainly had all the characteristics that I personally endorsed. In the end, her honesty & niceness paid off really well!

As per the skills, yes they are important assests but can also be superficial or easily acquired.

I guess these ARE ‘Reality Show’ for a reason!

Yes, I do have a problem.

11^th July 2006 was when Mumbai experienced first bite of terrorism after 1993 riots, popularly called as 7/11. Series of bomb blasts in busy railway stations at peak hours. I was living in Mumbai those days. Memories of this incident are fresh, saddening and frustrating.  It all started with one of my colleagues mention bomb blast at a neighboring suburb station, a few minutes later, another one got up and yelled out saying “there were 4 bomb blasts in the city…” everyone got off their workstations and rushed towards the T.V room. Within 5 minutes of watching news we discovered there were series of 6 blasts that took place in busiest railway stations during peak hours. It takes no genius to understand that local trains & railway stations are Mumbai’s life lines; with absolutely zero security it was certainly soft and easy target!

As soon as I saw T.V I tried calling my parents (who lived in another city) to let them know I was fine and  very soon we realized that all the phone lines and cell phone networks were jammed, to prevent panic (as they said).  Most of stayed in office till late evening cause roads were blocked & all trains were put on hold. Many managed reaching home someway or other and a few others choose to stay back. That entire evening all my friends, family & people I remotely knew called to check if I was safe (this was after phone lines started functioning). What happened next morning amazed me to my disgust. City was back in track, the trains were working, people went on with their robotic routine with very little or no grief at all. And this, as they call it, was the “Spirit of Mumbai….” Every time I heard that, I sarcastically agreed and said “… yea right!!”

Is this how spirit of a city suppose to be? Cold? string of bomb blasts occur though out the city and its citizens shrug it off ‘as a matter of fact.’ Politicians blame on ruling government for poor security measures, government blames it on intelligence agencies for not seeing coming and so on…Finally, what was discovered was that this was series of blasts carried by group of suicide bombers, mostly Muslims.

What followed this event was some action worth some appreciation. All railway stations had 24 hrs security guards at all entry & exit points. Any commuter traveling with box or any kind a luggage was checked & his/ her identity was recorded. Well this was a big deal considering the traffic in Mumbai railway stations. Secondly, many private firms came out with their campaigns requesting a common man be alert note any suspicious activity and (or) suspicious person. This campaign was seen across all railway stations and in all trains. And, finally every business center, shopping mall and public place had security guards scanning every bag and everyone who entered. Though standard of security was questionable, however, I was pleased to see an outcome like this.

Now coming back to the point where I said ‘yea right’ to the spirit of Mumbai.’ If I have to make an unbiased judgment about this spirit, I would co-relate it to more of get- going or the move- on ability and not to what I called “revolt” or “cooperate to operate against terrorism” kinds.

That Politian-tuned- moral police- turned- whatever who had problems with night pubs open after 1:30 AM, had problems with U.P & Bihar citizens settled in Mumbai, who never missed chance of accusing  Big B star for every reason available & who also started the Mee Mumbaikar campaign (which meant I proud to be Mumbaiite); was missing from the scene. His party did not come forward to help those who got injured or died. Did not help his sources to team up with investigation teams and take measures to prevent such instances in future…

Beside, the common man, an average citizen who lives and breeds in the city did not look beyond their house. Their everyday routine and need of survival made them extremely immune to world outside their own.

This history took absolutely no time in repeating. Mumbai was under terrorist target yet again on 26^th November 2008, at a much bigger level. This time it was Taj Mahal Hotel, an historical property which symbolized India’s rich architectural past & assertiveness to be treated as an equal; Leopold café, Oberoi hotel, CST station, Nariman house & one of the hospitals. These places had few things in common. Prominent expat population, celebrated tourist attractions & also spots for local commuters and very little or no security. No prices for guessing that these were the “perfect” targets. Entire event was well planned execution of master minds who clearly intended to drive attention towards their strengths/ capabilities & resources, remorselessness towards innocent lives, spread violence in name of religion etc…

It’s amazing how training, logistics, resources & timing of such a disaster was beautifully crafted. Absolutely flawless, straight to the point & on to the target. How could someone from outside have information of some city/ hotel/ roads to this absoluteness?  This clearly would not have been possible without a local persons’ help.

It’s astonishing that the attackers EXACTLY knew when, where, how and what to attack.

Broadly, the outcomes of both the events do match. They did manage to kill a lot of innocent people, both local & international; entire world now constantly lives in fear and insecurity of terrorism & its surprises; petrified expats and tourists across the world are reconsidering (or simply avoiding) their travel plans to India; contributed to sinking economy by slowing down its growth and risk of trading.  And yes, this is was the last straw of instilling anger and tension between 2 countries.

I strongly feel that if meticulous measures were taken post 7/11, this could have been avoided (prevention is better than cure remember?!?!?).  Apparently US intelligence had warned Indian Navy about possible trouble from the sea front, which was clearly ignored.  Yes, India does have a huge coastal line that include close to 10 states. But if this message was passed to all the navy chiefs’ and followed by relevant actions, things could have been different. Yet again there are “if” and “but” factors attached. Beside, its not just the outsiders, we also have a task of searching & destroying the devil(s) amongst us. This is not just army, military and (or) navy’s responsibility, it also includes an average citizen. Saying that, I still have nothing against fellow Muslims, neither should the innocent ones be harmed only because they share the same religion with the attackers.

I saw this event on T.V while I was out holidaying. But this kept me disturbed and cranky for hours. I am perhaps one of those in millions who’ve lived in Mumbai, loved it & though not live there anymore, do have strings attached.