Red, White & shades of grey….

This blog was long due…I thought of this long before I actually sat down to write it. And even after a few weeks of writing it, I took a lot to edit, re-write, rewind, compile & spell check! To be honest, I started work on this even before I got married, while I was getting married & …er… even after our honeymoon. Well, I must say that a few these lines were written while I was going through those motions. Hence it’s all genuine & completely subjective . But anyways, this is a chronicle of a girl-turned-bride-turned-wife.

A prologue of how all of this started: Yash & I met few years ago at a formal dinner. Later, a famous networking site got us together & hence started a never ending relationship. As soon we met was after knowing each other virtually for a few months (I could call this our e-dating phase) and then we got engaged. The marriage proposal was as fairy tail-ish as it could get. Moon lit night, beach, my boyfriend on one knee & a box full of blings. Needless to say, it was YES. But there is a whole new dimension about being engaged to someone other than just being a part of his life.

Stepping into the new family meant embracing the family which was soon to be mine. It was not just about spending time and interacting with them on day-to-day bases; it was a lot to do with adapting their culture, lifestyle & values. Though we came from similar ethnic backgrounds, there were prominent differences in our ways of living. Yes, I had seen millions of girls doing this, my aunts, sisters, friends etc… who married to men of similar/ different backgrounds but its best understood when you are in the same boat. It never seemed this complicated. When I say complicated I mean, interdependent and interwoven. The concept of repel-effect was never this clear to me. One small act leaded chain of events. I know it all sounds very “complicated,” but those who have sailed in the same boat can read in between the lines…

Wedding blues: Courtship period is the most crucial time cause it contributes a lot in making or breaking the marriage. Yes, even before the wedding. This is the time when two people re-discover themselves & discover each other. Families have time to bond with each other & exchange love and respect. And yes, this is also the time so sensitive that a small spark can produce wildfire. Humble hearts and critics are sides of the same coin. Suddenly you (the bride or/and the groom) is the most sought out person in the crowd. Some coin you as the lucky one & many wish you best of luck and shower you with tons of advises unasked for. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t skeptical about this step. I also had what I famously call my “anxiety attacks.”

There were days, specially the PMS ones, which were most difficult to get through without getting mad at each other. There was this fear of unknown slowly creeping in, traces of uncertainty of the outcomes & a lot of things that would make you wonder if that’s what (or who) you wanted. It’s amazing what faith or belief in something (and/ or someone) can get you through all the hurdles. In fact this was the time I wrote my blog “Imbalanced“

The Big day: My wedding, the most awaited moment of my life, and the others’ associated with it, was here. Happiness, excitement, madness & too many people. It’s an unwritten rule that everyone enjoys your wedding more than you do… and I couldn’t believe it any lesser. We had an endless list of “promising” ceremonies throughout the day. By “promising” I  mean the patience it took to complete ceremonies enlisted & each of those also meant to pledge that Yash and I were committing to loving, sharing & caring our lives, respect & wealth to each other forever. Yash and I would stand by each other in goodness & bad etc… To us, these promises also extended on to provide each other with honesty, trust & support unconditionally; to mean being a better half to someone when you say you are; to begin our lives in our world & at our terms. It was the celebration of OUR new beginning.

Many of my single friends, who wish to have commitment & not marriage asked why can’t these promises be made without a formal ceremony? At that time it was more about social acceptance, seeking blessings from all our elders, fulfilling my parents’ ambition marrying their child as per the cultural norms etc… (& a little bit to do with my dream trousseau).

In my recent interactions I have answered them with a complete refreshed opinion. I’ve understood that the magnitude of promise & depth of commitment in marriage is way broader & deeper than living-in and the like, and it also leaves very little living room for one to cross the lines.

We had a holy ceremony around fire, which is considered as powerful & sacred elements of earth. My wedding trousseau was a white saree with red border. Colour white symbolizes peace & harmony. In a bridal dress it symbolizes a woman’s willingness to embrace her new family, their values & culture. Color red symbolized passion, romance & eternity; beautiful & meaningful isn’t it?

All’s well that ends well: My wedding day was the longest day ever, yet the most beautiful & an unforgettable one. This was followed by lovely honey moon in Swiss Alps & an entry into our abode.

These are a few lines from my wedding invitation that would briefly describe my journey as a girl to a lady & then as a to-be wife.

“Every since my childhood, I have spent time with

And it’s not about searching the right partner it all about being one….”

my family, living, loving & laughing in our own sweet cocoon.

My dolls, drawings, school trophies and wall scribbles still remain.

The stories of my growing years are numerous,

and is indispensable part of my ocean of memories.

Now starts a new phase of my life- My marriage.

I have come to understand that wedding is a ceremony &

marriage is a journey, which I am all set to take with Yash.

With him I have realized that marriage is not something that happens- it is created.

It’s never being too old to hold hands.

It is just about saying “I Love You” at least once a day…”