Today is the tomorrow I was waiting for yesterday…

Yes, this is exactly what is brewing in me at this moment. This is the moment of my life that I was looking forward to so eagerly… It’s my wedding. Yes, I am getting married in less than 90 days. It’s not sudden news to me. I knew this was coming from quite sometime; I had also started to shop for it…. A few instances today made me feel something so deeply which was surprisingly bigger than just the feeling of being.

Since morning, there was this special connection with my mom over everyday chores. Yes we live, fight & laugh under the same roof, but there was this special bond which cannot be explained that touched me.

At work my colleagues & I were discussing a brides perception of marriage. Right from her trousseau shopping to living the ups & downs of the married life & what it is to stay away from nagging mom.

Then came the time when I was selecting my wedding card. This was the time when I could feel the blurredness in my eyes. I wish I knew why that happens. This was definitely not a negative feeling but yes it was underlined with feeling of being separated from family, the place where I live & things that I’m attached to.

One side of my marriage would legally disconnect me from my existing family, on the other had I have a lovely (believe me when I say that) set of in-laws welcoming me with smile & warmth.

One part of my life where I have liberty to throw orders at my maid for smallest of thing; the other part calls me to build “our” house brick-by-brick & make it a home.

I love it when my mom cooks my favorite dishes & feeds me with all her love. This is also the same time when I picture myself experimenting in our kitchen & victimizing Yash.

The instances, the emotions & sentiments are endless, beautiful & too intense to be expressed. Looking back, I’m sure I would love to re-live these times. Practically, it’s not even possible, hence I’m enjoying every spec of it, living the moment & making the most of it. Needless to say…. I’m loving it.

R.E.A.D that…

In my primary classes, we were constantly trained to write essays. Day in and day out, our language teachers would give us essay topics for 100/ 250 and sometimes even 500 words. There were a few clichéd topics such as My family, My hobby, India of my dreams, Science a boon or a curse & this was my all time favorite, An idol student. When given a choice, I glibly filled pages and expressed my idea of someone I could never be. My teachers, considering the kind of student I was, would never agree that Bhavini could even stretch her self to an outcome like this!

One of my classmates, a good friend and brightest student choose to write essay(s) on My hobbies, which explained her joy for reading and getting indulged in printed text like there was no world outside it. I was always the other side. I could never understand how could one indulge in so much reading & above all enjoy it. My reactions were very clichéd (I’d choose to believe this) and annoying. All I would do as soon as I have a book in hand is to doze off; sketch or doodle in the slightest of place in the corner of the pages, tear the edges and make match sticks out of it, keep the book open, masters the act of reading & slipping in to my cocoon of imagination.

That was the child in me. But as years passed by the insecurity of not scoring well in language; being unheard of words, phrases, writers & books; friends and foes mocking at my write-ups pinched my ego like ant bites. Slowly (and thankfully) I realized that “to write well, you need to read as well!” And yes, it worked!

Today, I wouldn’t say that reading is one of my hobbies, but I’d take liberty in saying that it’s one of the few things I enjoy thoroughly. Sign posts, newspapers, magazines, fiction, non-fictions, poems… the list goes on. Yet I have come to notice something about me which also annoys me. I can never (read that) NEVER complete a book that I “would love to read.” There have been several instances that I buy the best of the books, based on recommendations, a few times on reviews and a lot of times purely on impulse. But they only stock my library and stay unattended and unread for years. I wonder why?!?!?

Oh by the way, I would love to have a small library of books and CDs sometime.

There is something about reading that keeps me wanting more (besides the obvious advantages), it diverts my mind from daily chores & stabilizes, makes me wiser and & most importantly, gives me a new dimension. These are also my motivations to read more. But I would still come back to the same point, “why can’t I read completely?!?!”

Attempts to finish the book disappointedly failed a lot of times. I lose the book or lose the interest, do not find time when the book is around or I spend time only looking for the book… Years have passed by, but I’m constantly looking for ways to read, read more and read fully.

There is a part of me which is constantly fighting and refusing to give up & the rest of me, only supporting it.

God of small things

I have always noticed that happiness do exist in small & not-so-important-things. these things happen in our day to day life, but either we overlook it or undervalue it. Well I came across a mail that made me realize few hidden, yet gifted moments of life.

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19 Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you’re beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy or kitten.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38 Holding hands with someone you care about.
39 Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _expression on someone’s face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you’ve done the right thing, no matter what other people think.