How different is Unique…?

“ When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.”

-          Sophia Lauren.

The above statement by an Italian actress beautifully epitomizes Saudi mothers. Behind the “veil of powerlessness” an average Saudi mother is no different from her European and Western counterparts.

Sadeem*, 36, has been living in Riyadh since her childhood. She has 3 kids, a daughter and 2 sons. “I’m a chemical engineer by education, but did not have chance to work since I got married as soon as I graduated…” any regrets? I asked, “not at all, I was happy because that way I had a lot of time to spend with my husband, and later with my kids…”

She chose not to ‘work’ on a full time job since she does not want to make compromises at family levels, “…my husband works for more than eight hours a day, if I don’t stay at home and take care of kids, who will. I don’t mind taking up a full time job, but I would do so, only when my kids have all gone to Universities…” An average day in Sadeem’s life involves regular home chores like cooking, cleaning, helping kids with homework & assignments. Her favorite activities are surfing internet (emails and news websites to begin with), socializing with friends and family, reading fiction, non-fiction & religious books & shopping, of course; “My favorite outing is nice dinners with my husband, alone…!” and she blushed.

Most interesting thing about one of her past time that caught my attention was watching TV. She claims to be a die- hard fan of programs on MBC 4- Oprah & The Doctor’s TV and other Arabic shows. “…I understand English in bits, but subtitles always help!”

Younger Generation of Saudi women have been quite active in the business and job scenes. Though this freedom was not inherited, they value it and inspire many mothers like Sadeem to encourage her daughter to graduate and work. “ Gamrah*, my oldest child, will soon be in high school, she is very good in her studies and all other activities. I definitely want her to study a lot and continue with a job. I not only want her to grow up age wise but also be well educated and independent women…”

Beyond all these thoughts, ideas and ambitions, there was slight discomfort in voice about the system that she, her daughter and rest of the family is in. “Well I’m not very content with the system. I hope there was some more freedom. But if these are the cultural and traditional values, I will respect it.”

A Saudi woman has benefit of accumulating wisdom for centuries. Most of all, she also has an advantage of making her own choices, in creating and experiencing an entirely new era of Change. She has experienced choice of her own growth and sensed the liberation with in.

“If you swim against the tide, you might either sink or die out of over doing, hence I choose to float in the same direction and be content, be happy …”

- Sadeem Abdulaah.

*Names changed to protect privacy.

Karma Matter

Ever since I quit my full-time job, cooking and watching T.V have been my favorite activities.   As I browsed through channels, E! is one channel where I always look for something fun to watch. Some gossip, some real life drama or some useful tips on what (not) to wear etc… One of the popular shows on that channel is “Running in heels.”

In all honesty, I started watching this show only cause of its title. Running in heels. To me, this clearly meant things people do to survive in corporate world. This reality show was about 3 girls, Talita, Samantha & Ashely in NYC interning for a fashion magazine called Marie Claire. What they captured on show was the reality of what an intern goes through in real world. Alongside, it clearly highlights the attitude of others’ towards interns, tension between interns, cold shoulders and my touch point that gets the TRP scoring- the sabotaging.

I have closely followed all the episodes and it’s been quite entertaining. Today was the final episode of the season. One of the interns would get a chance to continue working with Marie Claire & the lucky name was to be revealed.

Joana, Chief Editor of the magazine, a tough critic observed girls closely and would decide on which one to pick.  It was towards the end of last episode, that she met all the interns and scrutinized each of them based on their performances.  These were her comments on them; Samantha- smart, sweet, approachable and a good writer; Tolita- proactive, deligent, but challenged in grammar & spellings; Ashley- Talented, hard working and good presentation skills.What shocked me the most  was what followed first line of comments.Samantha, had more of PR skills, she was not really meant for a ‘magazine’ world. Ashley, along with her talent and hard work she was also a gifted sabotage. There was not a single time she missed out on elbowing someone else to get where she wanted. Tolita, yes, she did have to polish her skills but has proven herself to be hardworking, dedicated & humane individual.

As a typical TV buff, was was glued to the TV through out the advertisements (which I usually skip) to know who would be the one. Her feedback was very generic and neutral.  Talita was the winner. She was chosen to be Marie Claire’s correspondent in the West Coast.

I was Happy to here that, not because I secretly admired one of them and hence wanted Talita to get this job, but there was more of  personal agenda attached to it.  Somewhere deep down inside, there was something about the climax that I strongly believed in and followed in every given chance. According Joanna, the editor-in-chief and the benevolent dictator of the magazine, had simple yet basic reasons for choosing Talita. Honesty, persistence and hard-work. I’ve personally been part of corporate world and seen people right from lowest to the highest level, nice-est to the mean-est, lethargic ones to the most active ones. Irrespective of the level, something that always mattered and appreciated was the human-ness of every individual. Talita, was not the super talented or gifted-by-birth kinds, she certainly had all the characteristics that I personally endorsed. In the end, her honesty & niceness paid off really well!

As per the skills, yes they are important assests but can also be superficial or easily acquired.

I guess these ARE ‘Reality Show’ for a reason!

The Big TWO FIVE

Musical fountains make me smile, fireworks amuse me, I melt when I see chocolates, cupcakes & cold drinks. There is a child inside me. Something about me that has never changed since childhood is excitement for birthdays. Yes, I love them. I never miss out on candles, wishes, gifts & having friends and family around.  This Birthday, I completed a quarter of my life, meaning, I’m 25.

There is something about this birthday that makes it special to me. Unlike past, this one was not just about candles, wishes & gift, it was also about a few things that I propose as set of 10 Objectives which I am going to work towards the year to come.

Here they are:

1)      Heart is where the home is : We recently moved in to a place which is slightly bigger than what I’m used to. But still I would not want to spare any effort in taking care of it. This definitely is a big step towards growth, independence and a fulfilling a dream that has always been close to my heart, my house. I have so been spoilt by domestic helps & mommy taking care of everything. Yes, an honest attempt to cook better & live better.

2)      R.E.A.D : One of my blogs, R.E.A.D That, speaks a lot about reading’s emotional toll on me. I think I did overcome that. But there are so many books I still want to read. Different genres, rare authors & also read different things, blogs being my favorite, editorial, advertorials… bring it on. Besides just reading, I also want to take it a step forward. Make a scrap book or some sort of collection.

3)      Money, Money, it’s not funny (even) in the rich man’s world : Living in Dubai, world’s shopping capital, I constantly battle my mind about expenses and savings. Unforeseen  future and considering the present times, I have realized how important it is to be financially secure. Hence, irrespective of having a well paid job (or not), I would want to save enough for the rainy day.

4)      Hobby class : I grew up loving to dance. I think I still do, but I guess it’s been good 10 years since I got into that kind a groove. I miss it. Hobbies are fun when we are kids, but as we grow older, it becomes a part of us. It represents us to ourselves. Kathak, is one of the most interesting forms of dance that I wanted to learn. Being unemployed, I have lots of time to myself. This is perhaps the best time to invest in my favorite hobby.

5)      Awareness is a bliss:  Gain information about things around. This includes society, environment & my favorite- Marketing. This is important to me right now especially cause a few months of relocation had pushed my life into a flux. Just want to bounce back, but to a higher level…

6)      Sleep-less : It’s said that an, an average human being spends 1/3^rd of his life sleeping. In my case it might just be more. Sleeping used to make happy, until later I realized, that bit of time can also be used constructively.

7)      Fitter, Stronger, faster: Commit good 30-40 minutes every day (almost) towards fitness & pump heart beats.

8)      Step out of Sabbatical : Hunt for job that builds my career.  Being optimistic even when recession bubble getting bigger.

9)      Retrospect life : ….and live forward. There is so much to learn from things done & undone from the various facets of life. Time to catch-up.

10)   Swimming & scuba diving are my new year’s resolution : It is unimaginably huge for someone who has to battle hydro phobia, but the patience & perseverance will get me there.